DYSRHYTHMIA Tour Diary: Sept. 26 - Oct. 15

by Kevin Hufnagel

9/26 (Philadelphia, PA Funrama)
Despite all the other big shows going on that night [Weezer, Rollins Band, Supersuckers, etc.], I knew we were gonna have a fun time at least, since we were playing with our friends in Technician, and Margarine. This being the beginning of our tour we were eager to get going, which resulted in us being the first band to arrive at the venue. Shortly after the other bands arrived we loaded in down the steep, dark, and narrow stairs of the Funrama. My only gripe with the Funrama is the electrical grounding problem in the basement which causes almost any amplified instrument to buzz and hum uncontrollably...but what else can you do but deal with it. Technician played first. Their performance tonight was a little rough here and there but I've really come to enjoy their music a lot. The small crowd that did make it out tonight was very appreciative as well. I tried to warm up a bit upstairs. Alex from Margarine was warming up too. We guitar geeks need to do that... I listened to Ian from Technician get into a conversation/argument with a friend of ours about how he should/shouldn't go about releasing his own music. Murder in the Red Barn played second. Their sound was pretty interesting...sort of a prog-ish emo rock that included 2 acoustic guitarists and a guy playing various saxophones. We set up our gear for Margarine to use. This was their first show. What ensued was a 10 minute blast of ridiculously distorted bass, blasting drum programming, half audible screaming and Alex Nagle's shred guitar acrobatics. I don't know what to make of their material. It's fun as hell to watch and technically insane but you have to be a fan of that sort of extremeness [and have a sense of humor] to appreciate it, I think. Shortly after their set, we got our shit together and began. We got off to a good start. Hearing people cheer and yell "Fuck yeah!" is always encouraging and makes for a better performance. Mid-way through the set I was having tuning issues. This always bothers me, even if people say they don't notice it. We didn't clear the room this time, so I considered our first show of tour a success. Afterwards, we headed for my parents house in northern Virginia, not far from Hole in the Wall where we'll be playing the next day. I love traveling at night... the open, empty roads, clear starry skies, the feeling of freedom, escape, and possibility. After a 3 1/2 - 4 hour drive through the night we arrived at 5:30 AM. My parents were just getting up for work. On the kitchen counter was a sweet card and some travel food. They are the best. We all head off to our own rooms to get some much needed sleep. I am still wound up from playing, thinking about playing again, and touring in general. I get about 4 hours of sleep.

9/27 (Richmond, VA Hole in the Wall)
Richmond is a town that's always been good for us and this was our fourth time in the past year at Hole in the Wall. Upon arriving I was rather surprised to see Christopher Lee [he who played guitar on the first three Thought Industry records, a major influence on DYSRHYTHMIA] was at the show. It was cool talking to him and listening to him reminisce about the old days of T.I. He also gave me a bunch of new music to check out and expressed interest in recording us. Clayton and I were also pleasantly surprised to see our good friend Lief Ellis, who drove 5 hours from Radford to see us tonight. Other old friends of ours from the area came out tonight as well. The first band Milkbaby, from Chicago, was an intriguing ambient/experimental goth trio with lots of real-time looping vocal parts and percussion, not typical of the type of bands we normally play with. They were very nice people as well. Tonight we were feeling pretty fired up and played a rather kick-ass set. The crowds are always receptive to us at Hole in the Wall and I think we are slowly building a following here. A cute girl started talking to me after our set, I only mention this 'cause it happens so rarely. As we were loading out, we were entertained by the doorman, who wouldn't stop urging us to buy "Smoky" portable amps, so we can rock out on street corners. Tonight we were lucky enough to stay at a friend’s house and make ourselves at home. They had two extremely hyper kittens that raced around frantically. Jeff seemed congested and I was hoping he wasn't getting sick. This tour was off to a good start and I didn't want anything to slow us down.

9/28 (Greenville, NC Backdoor Skate Shop [CANCELED] moved to some laundry mat at the bottom of an apartment complex)
I was having trouble sleeping again in Richmond until one of the rowdy kittens laid down next to me and started purring loudly, purring reminiscent of a helicopter flying overhead. I slept a few hours and then just sort of drifted in and out of consciousness until about 1 PM. We spent the day roaming around town, hitting Plan 9 records to consign some cds and going to a local music store so I could get some guitar picks. When trying to park, a man in another car was taking up two spaces, so we signaled him to move. He then proceeded to smash right into the car in front of him in an effort to make space for us. Totally unfazed, he got out of his car and walked away. Hilarious. I was lucky enough to find the elusive Jim Dunlop Jazz III picks I use. Unfortunately, I had to wait an eternity for the sales clerk to stop flirting with the girl trying to buy guitar stings before I could purchase them and leave. Jeff needed to stock up on his [even more elusive] special brand of drum sticks. The store didn't have them. Neither did the next store. It was time to head to Greenville, N.C. Once we reached the venue things didn't look right. We were on time but the place was closed up and no one was around. We called Eric who booked the show and left a message in hopes that he would let us know what was up. While waiting I got a sandwich at the dive bar across the street. Just as I'm thinking the shows canceled, the phone rings. Apparently, Backdoor Skateshop is not doing shows anymore due to some assholes throwing firecrackers at a show recently. We followed Eric to the new venue, which turned out to be a laundry mat at the bottom of an apartment complex. This was more of a college-type party than a rock show it seemed at first. We parked around back and checked out the scene, which consisted of a lot of drunk kids pissing everywhere. Clayton went to the van to write. Jeff started drinking and I started feeling sick to my stomach. This was my own fault, as I know I shouldn't eat anything before we play, due to my pre show nervousness. I went to the van to lie down for a while. Next thing I knew it was time to play. Kids were piling in as we were setting up and a few even mentioned they were there to see us. Once we launched into the first song I knew everything was gonna be alright. A few kids threw money up to us as donations, since they weren't charging a fee at the door. After the show I went back to the van, as I was still feeling sick and had a slight pain in my chest. Due to the less than ideal toilet/bathroom at the venue, kids thought it would be best to relieve themselves in the parking lot or nearby woods. There was even a blind man at the show who had a woman guiding him around. She ended up leading him to the middle of the parking lot, in plain view of everyone, to relieve himself. As I was resting in the van, a girl squatted down in some bushes close by. Suddenly she noticed I was in the van and ran off screaming. I shouted that I could leave if she wanted me too. Just then, a voice came from the car next to our van. This girl was laughing at me. She opened her door and told me she enjoyed our set. She was very attractive and all I could think of is how I would like to be with her in the back of that car, but instead I said "Thanks..." and walked away. We did fairly well on cd sales tonight which will help us get to Knoxville. Since the show didn't end until 3 AM, we knew we'd be seeing the sun rise as we drove this morning. Along the way we stopped at our favorite 24 hour eating establishment, Denny's. Our waitress was a character, and enjoyed her graveyard shift at Denny's way too much. She asked us where we were from and what we were doing, then wanted to know if we sounded like "Joe Satriani meets punk?". She also informed us that guitar hero Steve Vai used to be a cop and accidentally shot himself in the crotch and only has one testicle. I've never heard this story myself, so I didn't know whether to believe her or not. Clayton was all hyped up on caffeine when we headed back on the road. Along the way I was subject to one of his notorious and unexplainable "laughing fits" [anyone that knows him well knows what I'm talking about] when I told Jeff he "smashes his cymbals" really hard. I don't know why this was so funny. We stopped for a bathroom break at 6:30 AM at a Flying J truck stop. Jeff and I spotted the most amazing mullet. This mullet was down to the man's waist. We were in awe. It's amazing people still have the balls to have those sort of haircuts. We continued driving past sunrise 'till about 8 AM where we stopped to catch some shut eye, which we got about 3 or 4 hours of before continuing again.

9/29 (Knoxville, TN Pilot Light)
Driving through the Smoky Mountains to get to Knoxville was really beautiful. Once we arrived into town we tried to find a music store so Jeff could get his damn sticks. We were not successful. See, today was the big college football game and the streets were mobbed with people in orange, and all the retail stores had closed early. I was starting to feel a cold coming on. After having a nice dinner at Tomato Head, we headed over to Pilot Light. There we met People of the Squares who we played with here last October. It was cool to see them again. Convocation Of was also on the bill tonight and I was curious to see what they were all about. I spent most of the time before the show sitting on the bench outside, drinking a special vitamin water concoction Clayton made me for my cold. We were told that we would be playing first tonight. We managed to put on a good show, despite me feeling like shit. A member of PotS recorded us to minidisk and I was really curious to know how it sounded. The crowd seemed kind of sparse and most people stayed in the back, yet we got called back for an encore. Convocation Of played next. I enjoyed their set, some cool rhythms and ideas going on. The bassist rocked out. People of the Squares played last. I felt bad for them 'cause by this point it was late and people started leaving. They play a very polyrhythmic progressive metal brand of instrumental rock and I could tell Jeff was paying close attention to their drummer. We said good bye to our friends in PotS and to Jason, owner of Pilot Light and super nice guy. We were offered a place to stay at the doorman, Cain's house. Cain used to play with the "math rock" band the Hosemobile. They were one of those bands I'd heard about but never heard. He was generous enough to give each of us copies of both their albums and their 7" record. I was looking forward to getting a descent nights rest, since the drive to Johnson City wasn't too far. I woke up feeling a little better in the morning. Getting a chance to shower was nice too. We all slept a little later than planned, so we thanked Cain's roommate Angela for the hospitality [since Cain had already left for work] and headed for Guitar Center in the endless quest for Jeff's sticks. Of course they didn't have them. On the way to Johnson City we pulled over at a truck stop in the town where Davey Crockett was born and where they served one pound "Bear Killer Burgers" and the 50-year-old truckers played machine gun and race car driving video games in the lobby.

9/30 (Johnson City, TN Safety Sheep)
Tonight's venue turned out to be a living room in someone's house [Travis, who booked the show]. We arrived with just enough time to eat a quick dinner and for me to buy some NyQuil. This was an early show with the first band going on at 7 PM. The turnout seemed sort of dismal at first with just a few kids there. After the first band the room started to fill and more people came in. We played a really good set. My guitar cord was freaking out on me, making this horrifying shrieking noise that Clayton loves. The kids were really enthusiastic, one in particular seemed speechless when he tried to talk to me afterwards and I think almost everyone there signed our mailing list. Since tomorrow's drive to Atlanta was only 5 hours, we took up Travis's offer to spend the night at his house. I took another shower [twice in one day, rare for tour!], checked my email and guzzled down some Nyquil. I talked for awhile with the kids at the house, who were watching home movies of themselves exploring abandoned school houses at night, very Blair Witch Project. At one point Travis mentioned trying to get Fugazi to play a show in Johnson City and having us back to open for them. You could see Clayton's face light up with excitement. After awhile the Nyquil was giving me that heavy, "sinking through the floor" feeling and I retired to my room for the night. I slept in my sleeping bag on a hard shellacked wooden floor. I woke up several times during the night, each time in a different place in the room, 'cause my sleeping bag would slide across the floor every time I moved in my sleep. The guys woke me up in the morning and we loaded out and said our good byes. As we were packing in the gear we noticed we were missing our merch table. We had forgotten it in Knoxville.

10/1 (Atlanta, GA Eyedrum)
The ride to Atlanta consisted of a lot of driving through the backwoods roads of North Carolina. We stopped in Ashville, NC for lunch, which was excellent. We arrived early to Eyedrum, which was a little tricky to find at first. I killed time by wandering around aimlessly, while Clayton engaged in a long conversation with a homeless man who was a musician himself. The venue was located behind a locked gate, so we had to wait for someone to show before we could get in. Eventually someone arrived and let us through. The Eyedrum itself was basically a large warehouse/art gallery and very boomy and loud. The soundman asked for permission to record us tonight, which he did. After setting up I went outside and played frisbee with Jeff. It was a nice surprise to see our friend Forbes pull up into the parking lot. He had driven from Silver Springs, MD to see visit some friends, see our show, and give us the test pressing of the split 10" record that he is putting out for us with his own band xthoughtstreamsx. The acoustics of the room had us debating for awhile which songs would be best to perform. We were first at around 10 PM. Things were going fine until the second or third song when Clayton's amp fell over and his cords were cutting in and out. This problem was caused by the stage shaking so much when we played. Technical difficulties always kind of bring down a performance for me, so I didn't feel like this was one of our best. The highlight of the show being Jeff, who managed to pick up his high hat stand, which had fallen over, with his left foot while playing and never loosing the beat. I know a few people in the crowd were impressed with that, if nothing else. I meet a few kids afterwards who seemed to appreciate our material and purchased cds. I just wished we could've played a better show for them. I was also disappointed a fan of ours named John, who had helped promote the show, ended up missing most of our set 'cause the venue made it seem like we were the headliners and would be playing much later than we actually did. After the show we were offered a place to stay at Gavin's warehouse [he booked the show]. Forbes was already friends with Gavin so we all decided to go out to eat at Taco Cabana. On the ride over, Clayton and I busted out with some bad freestyle rapping, something we do often to amuse ourselves. After dinner we followed Gavin back to his place. Jeff and Clayton slept on his couches. I decided to sleep in the van. During the night I kept hearing strange noises and thought I heard people calling my name. I actually got up and looked around at one point. We left for Tallahassee in the morning where we'd be hooking up with our touring mates Overlords of the Underworld. About 2 hours into our trip we stopped at a Denny's. While waiting for our food we all got into a huge discussion/debate about merchandise and if getting stickers and T-shirts made is a good idea or if it just makes a band look silly, like a traveling "store". I personally have nothing against stickers. I think it would help people remember our name. Jeff tried to convince Clayton that when he sees a band sticker it makes him think that band must be good and makes him want to check them out. We all laugh at that one...Before leaving I use the rest room. While in there doing my "business", this R&B "slow jam" song with soft, pseudo sexy female vocals was playing over the speakers. The lyrics went something like "I just wanna get close to you...", "you smell so good baby" over and over. Hearing this while sitting on the john had me in hysterics.

10/2 (Tallahassee, FL Club Downunder)
Upon arriving at Club Downunder in Tallahassee we were greeted by college students to help us load in, being that the club was located on the campus of Florida State University. I was surprised by the size of the venue, which had posters up of past performances there by the likes of people like Sting, Paula Cole, and Sonic Youth among others. Tonight they had a backstage with food for all the bands, in addition to ordering dinner for us as well. We're not used to being treated this well. We met out touring mates the Overlords of the Underworld. Tonight they were playing as an 8-piece band, but on the road they will be stripping it down to 5. They set up and sound checked first. I talked to Ian, the bassist. He asked me if we "party". I told him we were probably the most boring band on the planet as far as that stuff goes. We sound checked next but were all feeling a little tense, snapping at each other a lot, even though everything sounded amazing onstage. We ate our dinners [some of the worse Chinese food I'd ever had] and bitched and argued some more when trying to come up with a set list. We played first to about a handful of people, and this was a free show too. It felt kind of ridiculous to me to be treated like rock stars and then go out and play for 10-15 people. Despite this, we ended up playing one of our best sets of the tour thus far. We set up a merch table but didn't sell anything. The University had agreed to pay us $250 but they couldn't pay us that night. So essentially we had to use whatever we had left from the previous shows to get to the next town. Overlords of the Underworld played second. The sound was massive and loud. Their music was less "chaotic" than I had imagined it would be. It sounded more like Morphine meets Sabbath, than the Mr. Bungle/John Zorn eclecticness I was originally expecting. Before loading out we made sure to swipe all the leftover food backstage into a giant bag and take it with us. We followed Ian back to his house to crash for the night. We hung out in his living room and tried to get to know each other better since we'd be spending the next 2 weeks together on the road. They seemed pretty excited about touring 'cause they had a new, large van with a TV/VCR in it so they could watch movies the whole time. I got a chance to do my laundry and went to sleep around 4 AM. I was awakened the next morning by some skater kid who came storming through the door into the living room, talking really loud to Clayton, apparently unaware I was there sleeping. He then proceeded to go to his room and blast some punk rock. Guess it was time to get up anyway...

10/3 (Mobile, AL The Splash [CANCELED])
Another gorgeous drive, with bodies of waters everywhere. I was starting to wish I had brought my fishing rod. Once we arrived at The Splash we were greeted by two other out-of-town bands that were supposed to share the bill with us tonight. Unfortunately, they gave us news that the show had been canceled due to the club owner's mother falling down the stairs or something. Soon after the Overlords showed up and we all stood around trying to think of an alternate plan. A member of one of the other bands went to a bar down the street to see if they would let us play. No such luck. Then we considered waiting to see if any kids showed up, hoping maybe we could move the show to someone's house. The owner's of  The Splash, Bob and Linda, let us in and offered us drinks, let us check our e mail, and apologized for the situation. They offered to make it up to us by adding us onto their "Splashfest" the following weekend. This actually turned out for the better since we originally had Sunday off. Bob and Linda also had two pet talking parrots who entertained us for awhile. The Overlords had already taken off for New Orleans looking to get "blasted". We decided to start driving and maybe find a place on the beach along the Gulf of Mexico to stay at for the night. On the way we listened to one of Magma's double live albums. Perfect bizarre, dark, night-driving music. We passed through Biloxi Beach, which is a long strip of neon signs and souvenir shops. We pulled over at one point to explore the area. The water was as pitch black as the sky above with a nearly full moon and pleasant breeze. There was an extremely long pier that I walked down and saw people night fishing and catching "white trout". I was jealous. We played frisbee on the beach.  A few hours later we headed back on the road. At one point the highway suddenly cut off and put us in the middle-of-nowhere Mississippi. We found a Denny's to eat at. Our conversations were pretty strange tonight covering such topics as eating bull testicles and being served ovaries as garnish on your plate of food. Lionel Ritchie’s "Three Times a Lady" was playing on the speakers and Jeff made some remark about imagining if someone really was "three times a lady" with three vaginas, and six breasts. This sends me into hysterical laughter and my head right into Jeff's bleu cheese dressing. We stayed the night at the TA Travel Center and spend a good hour thinking of all the things TA could stand for. Some possibilities included "that's amore", "tremendous ass", "try again", "too angry", "ticklers anonymous", and my personal favorite "truffles anyone?". Being that we were only a half hour from New Orleans this was our chance to get a good rest since the drives were only gonna get longer from here on out.

10/4 (New Orleans, LA Dixie Tavern)
We arrived in New Orleans at around noon and had the whole day to roam around town. I was most looking forward to eating some cajun food. New Orleans is like another world completely with a very circus-ish atmosphere, the streets filled with mimes, human statues, street musicians, artists, etc. We ate an excellent lunch. I ordered the fried crawfish ceasar salad. We ran into the Overlords who had been there since the night before partying. When going back to the van we discovered we had gotten a parking ticket, which Clayton put into his folder as a souvenir. We reparked the van and all split up to wander around town some more. I visited a spooky voodoo shop, photo galleries, record stores, and went down to the waterfront. While walking down the street, a man burst into song singing Lionel Richie's "Three Times A Lady". This was was hysterical to me, considering we heard that song the night before in Denny's, and thinking of Jeff's remarks. On the way back to the van, I picked a post card to send to my parents and witnessed some shady drug activities going on in the dark street corners. Once we all met up again we headed to the Dixie Tavern. The other two bands were already there. We were going last tonight. The show didn't even get started until about 11 PM. The three of us were really wound up and itching to play, or as Jeff put it he "just wanted to hit something" after have the previous day off. The first band was called Hostile Apostle. The were a cool instrumental three piece that reminded me of a heavier Stinking Lizaveta. Outside Will from the Overlords was telling us about how they talked to "hundreds of girls" that day, trying to get them to come to the show. Well, I think only one showed up. The crowd was pretty sparse again. We had our gear already set up on the sidewalk outside by the time the Overlords were done. We really played our asses off tonight and I felt so much better after the show, having had the chance to release all that pent-up energy. We started our drive to Austin stopping at about an hour and half at Denny's. Clayton and Jeff spent a good hour or more arguing about "music" vs. "entertainment". I just stayed out of the conversation. I got tired of listening to them and abruptly ended the discussion and suggested we get back on the road. That night we listened to Magma's "De Futura" as we traveled down the desolate Louisiana highway, passing glowing, flaming refineries that lit the sky red. We pulled over at a truck stop and got about 2 or 3 hours of sleep before it began POURING rain. Jeff decided to get up and drive while Clayton stayed asleep.

10/5 (Austin, TX Ruta Maya Coffeehouse)
The drive to Austin was rather tedious. There was no gorgeous scenery to stimulate us. It rained heavily most of the time, and we hit some traffic in Houston. At about 30 minutes outside Austin, we got a flat tire. Luckily, we were prepared with a spare. We arrived in time at the Ruta Maya Coffeehouse which had a real hippie vibe to it, complete with a massive drum circle outside. We loaded through the back alley and met Trey, who booked the show. He had a very "go-with-the-flow, whatever, everything's cool" demeanor about him. He informed us the show could go on until 2 AM, so we had plenty of time to set up and to stretch out and play a longer set. The Overlords were late arriving and started loading in right as we were about to go on, so we had to wait another 10 minutes for them to get their stuff on stage behind ours. The room and stage both were somewhat large, yet we were playing without a PA or monitors tonight, that would've really come in handy this time. It was hard to tell how loud we sounded in the crowd. I was pretty sure this place didn't normally feature bands like ourselves. I overheard one man before the show saying "it's gonna be loud and I'm not gonna like it!" We played an OK set, mixing up the more groove-oriented songs with the more abrasive stuff. Someone I was talking with before the show said she "didn't have any music like ours in her collection". I wasn't sure if that was a complement or not, but what does it matter? There were these two girls, Ashley and Renata, at the show who did a zine and wanted to interview us. If the interview ever goes to print, I'm sure it will be pretty embarrassing, as we confessed to things like arguing about the Backstreet Boys and what vegetables we would like to be. They didn't have a tape recorder, one of them just wrote really fast as we talked. After the show I was trying to find Jeff as we were loading out. I found him in the Overlords van. I knocked on the window and Mike of the Overlords slowly rolled down his window and said in an eyes-half-closed, stoned voice "give him five..." and then rolled it back up. Guess Jeff was trying to fit in with their partying ways...Annoyed, Clayton and I loaded up the van ourselves. Jeff appeared with Ashley and Renata and we decided we'd all go out to eat. The Overlords were particularly obnoxious this evening. Meisha, their DJ, got on the mic, as the coffee house was trying to close up, and proceeded to "bust out some rhymes" and then insulted the girl who was trying to get him to stop. It was pretty funny. We had to wait for the Overlords to finish loading out before we could back out of the alley. They discovered we were going out with those girls to eat. I think they were just frustrated they weren't getting any female attention this evening. So, shortly after we sit down, they come in and sit right next to us and joke around. Eventually, they left. Ashley had bought an Overlords t-shirt earlier that night but decided to use it as a "snot rag" after they wouldn't stop hitting on her. The cafe was playing N.W.A. or something. This inspired us to begin our terrible "white-boy" freestyle raps, which Renata got in on too. This absurdity went on for at least 4 hours and also included Clayton sticking spoons to his face. The girls got plenty of pictures of this with their camera. A little later a friend of theirs arrived, who didn't seem as amused by all of this as we were. By this time I think it was 6 AM. Jeff left to sleep in the van. We said goodnight. One of them said it was one of weirdest nights she'd ever had. We end up sleeping in the parking lot of the cafe we ate at.

10/6 (Houston, TX Heliotrope [a.k.a. Mausoleum])
When we got to the club in Houston it had a very Hellraiser vibe to it, with heads on spikes and plaster casts of body parts hanging off the walls. Cool! Nobody was at the club to let us in yet, so we went to a nearby record shop. When we returned we were informed there would be 7 bands playing tonight on two different floors. We talked to Steve the "promoter". This guy never responded to our phone messages regarding when to show up at the club, directions, if he got our posters, etc. When we asked him if he promoted the show by putting up the posters we sent him, he sort of just stared and slowly said "they...went up....somewhere...." Fucking liar! He then asked us if we promoted the show. And then said we were never "really confirmed". What? This guy was a maze of contradictions and not making any sense. He then told us we had to "keep it down cause this isn't a punk club and we've been having noise complaints" Then why have 2 bands playing at the same time, genius? We later found out he told us this 'cause he knew his own band would be playing downstairs while we were playing and didn't want us to drown them out. We went first at around 10 PM. There were only a few people in the room, all sitting down far in the back. We played a pretty bad set, by our standards. Clayton made some noticeable mistakes, which was odd to me because he usually doesn't. The crowd was pretty reserved, so it was hard to really get into it tonight. We had one more song to go in the set list but decided at the last minute to not play it and we abruptly ended. Jeff seemed confused and wanted to keep playing. I just turned off all my crap and said "that's all". A few kids enjoyed it anyway though. After breaking my gear down, I felt wasted, exhausted, and depressed. I had a drink and wandered around aimlessly, then went to the van to hide. There was this beautiful but fucked up [on some sort of muscle relaxer drug] girl at the show. I saw her go to the Overlords van. Later, the girl's older [and angry] brother confronted them, wanting to know where she was. Apparently, nothing really happened. The promoter's shitty cover band droned on forever, playing all your favorite "summer of love" hits, poorly. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there but we had to wait to see what the pay situation was. Mike and Will, two rather large and intimidating fellows from the Overlords, confronted Steve who was trying to rip us off and not pay us. They were charging $7-$9 at the door too. All we needed was some gas money. It took some loud words and fingers in faces to get just that. We got our money and split. Clayton needed to get some sleep, so Jeff drove. We had a hard time finding our way out of Houston. We crashed at a truck stop at 5 AM and got 5 hours sleep. In the morning Jeff and I ate a really fast breakfast at a buffet as Clayton got cleaned up in the rest room.

10/7 (Mobile, AL The Splash)
Finally arrived back in Mobile again for our make-up date. This show was part of their "Splashfest" which coincided with the town festival that was going on all weekend long. People littered the streets and sidewalks. I checked in with the club and met Linda again. She told us to park in the lot nearby, and not to worry about the charges. She wrote this funny little note on a scrap of paper for me to give the parking attendant. I envisioned the parking attendant laughing at me and giving us a hard time when I handed her this scribbled note, but she didn't. We had plenty of time before we were to play so I checked out the festival activities. I snuck past the $20 admission gate and watched a little of Teddy Pendergrass, who was performing, and bought a gyro. When I went back to The Splash, a band from Portland/Olympia called the Intima was playing. I thought they were really good but they basically cleared out the room, except for these 2 indie rock kids and myself. I bought their cd afterwards and signed their mailing list. The Overlords cleared the room tonight too for some reason. Things weren't looking too good for us either as there was hardly an audience left in the room to play for. However, there was still one more band after us and they had some people with them, but they were all outside. After our first song, they had all come into the room. Our set was cut down from 40 min to 20 min. This probably ended up working in our favor though, as we played a short, fast set. People really seemed to dig it, which I was surprised by but grateful. Linda liked us too and invited us back anytime. During the last band, a drunk told me that Clayton and I were great but that Jeff sucked, and then asked me if I agreed. Moron! It seemed like we drove forever before we could find a place to eat. After hours and hours of driving we found a Shoney's next to an upscale hotel. By this time we were all too tired to even eat. So we used the nice, clean hotel rest room to wash up and then slept in the parking lot. The next morning we ate at that Shoney's. It was god-awful! While continuing our drive to Murfeesboro, TN we kept seeing billboard ads on the highway that read "Remember Shoney's". Unfortunately we did.

10/8 (Murfeesboro, TN The Red Rose)
Once we arrived into town we got an oil change. The kid working there said he would come out to our show and bring all his friends. He never did. For some reason I was picturing The Red Rose as being a dumpy rock club, but instead it was a nice, large coffeehouse/cafe. The kids who worked there were real friendly and gave us free dinners. Our set tonight was a bit on the sloppy side. Jeff missed a few of the transitions. He said it was because he couldn't hear me, I think it was because he did a little smoking with the Overlords. The drive to Kirksville, MO was gonna be another long one, so we decided to get started after the show. The Overlords were staying with Sharon, who booked the show. I would've liked to as well but our van doesn't go as fast as theirs. Before leaving, Sharon stocked us up on bagels and coffee. Jeff mentioned in the van that he thinks the Overlords are starting to respect us more now and that Ian really admires Clayton's playing. The drive that night was spent listening to a lot of old 4AD bands like Dead Can Dance and older goth recordings. It went well with the foggy, vast fields that surrounded us. We got a good 4-5 hours start before stopping to rest. The next morning Clayton and I goofed around at the rest stop playground while Jeff looked on, sitting in the van looking serious with his dark shades on.

10/9 (Kirksville, MO Aquadome)
On the way to Kirksville we stopped to eat. There wasn't much around. We found a place simply called "Restaurant". When we went inside it was a depressing scene of two elderly folks, thick, suffocating, smoky air, and a trucker playing an arcade game. Outside the air reeked of manure. We opted for Subway which was nearby. When we walked in we were greeted by a "Welcome to Misery!" [Missouri] by the woman making sandwiches. Kirksville is a small college town where nothing is open very late. We arrived somewhat early so I walked around town, while Jeff watched TV in the Overlords' van and Clayton went running. I found a coffee house and had a bagel. When I returned someone had opened up the Aquadome. I went inside and met the girl who booked the show [whose name escapes me] and helped her set up. The Aquadome was also different from what I was expecting. It looked more like a Sunday School classroom than a rock venue. The Overlords played first and got the best response of the tour thus far. The kids all stood up close and watched. Our set went really well too. I had announced between songs that we could use a place to stay tonight if anyone had the space. By this point I hadn't showered in 7 days. Two audiences members, Suzanne and Eric, were kind enough to offer their place to us. The Overlords ended up going to a straightedge, lesbian sleep over party, which they quickly realized wasn't their scene and left. We got a chance to shower and Suzanne cooked us a pasta dinner. The next morning we thanked them for taking pity on us and their generous hospitality. Before leaving town we stopped at yet another music store to find Jeff's sticks. They didn't have them.

10/10 (Lawrence, KS Coco Loco)
Lawrence seemed like a hip town when we arrived. The Coco Loco turned out to be a Mexican restaurant. The Overlords were at the bar and had been drinking since earlier in the day. We were promised a free dinner, but we were told we'd have to wait until the owner/booking agent Quincy arrived. When Quincy appeared he told us the kitchen was closed! We explained that were instructed to wait for him. He then asked why we didn't call him. We did call him and we left messages. He then goes "Oh...well I was asleep." Asshole. We decided to play first tonight. When asking Quincy such basic questions as "how much are you charging at the door?" and "when should we load in?", he said "let me get a few beers in me and think about that..." and walked away. I was entertained by Meisha giving the doorman a hard time when trying to X his hand with a black marker because he was underage. Meisha told him to "lick his balls". We played to a small and mostly drunk crowd. Still the response was better than I had anticipated. The Overlords went next. People filtered in as their set went on. Outside, Clayton and Jeff had gotten into one of their heated political debates so I went back inside. During the Overlords set I jumped onstage and moshed around, much to their amusement. While the last band played, a drunk outside told me that we "sounded like Tom and Jerry but we needed a singer." We got paid a measly $19.50 and Quincy's compensation for no dinner was a pile of cold flour tortillas with a small pile of cold shredded cheese on top in a styrofoam box for us all to split.

10/11 (Omaha, NE The Junction [CANCELED])
This particular show was a last minute addition thus it wasn't promoted at all. We parked in front of the Junction where we waited for someone to show up. An elderly couple eventually appeared and opened the bar. The woman said to Clayton in a sweet, grandma voice "you're gonna like it here.". Jeff went inside to talk to them about maybe getting a free dinner before we decided to go out and spend any money. Jeff came out laughing, saying he couldn't understand a word the old man was saying. He said it sounded we'd get a free dinner if we "played good." Then the old man came outside to our van. He was probably in his 70's or 80's. When Clayton asked him if he was the owner, the man paused and looked deep in thought for about 10 seconds and then said "Yeah! Come on in and I'll buy ya a beer!" We told him we were thinking of going somewhere to eat first and he got this huge, happy smile on his face and said "OK! OK!" Unfortunately, we found out from the Overlords that current "hot band of the moment" the Faint were playing two shows tonight just a few blocks away, and Omaha is their hometown to boot. They said a girl at a record store earlier that day suggested we "just cancel our show." After checking out a local record shop we headed for a vegetarian restaurant we had spotted earlier called Mc Fosters. The menu didn't look that exciting to me at first, being the meat eater I am, but the food turned out to be excellent! At this point we had virtually no band money left. We figured tonight was gonna suck anyway so we might as well enjoy this excellent food and have some sort of fond memory of Omaha. So we went all-out and ordered two desserts. We got back to the Junction and it was still empty. Jeff and I played a bad game of pool as we waited for anyone to show up. After a while the owner told us he was closing. So that's it. No show. How depressing. We started driving for St. Cloud. MN. The next morning we stopped for gas. We saw the Faint at the gas station.

10/12 (St. Cloud, MN Java Joint)
On the way to St. Cloud we stopped in Minneapolis and drove around in circles looking for "some cool places to go". We found a music shop where Jeff was able to find a pair of sticks that were to his liking, finally! I found a record shop and tried to consign some of our cds. The sales clerk seemed drugged out and kept spitting on me when he talked. He told me they would throw our cds in the trash if they didn't sell in three months. I decided to hold on to our cds. We ate at a deli for lunch where I couldn't stop admiring the adorable Asian waitress. We were following Mapquest directions to get to this show. Mapquest sucks. By the time we got to Java Joint the Overlords were already there hanging out. We found out that our show was the second show of the evening and that there would be a hip-hop event going on first. There were a lot of kids there at this point. I was hoping they would stick around for our show. Three people from Minneapolis who had seen us previously at the Black Cat in D.C. came out tonight, which was very cool of them. The sound was unbalanced on my side of the stage and I got lost a few times. Some people were dancing and flailing around while we played, which I would personally like to see more of at our shows. One man offered me a bag of weed after the show, for playing so well. I should've directed him to Meisha...By the time the Overlords got started the place had almost emptied out. Will insulted all the kids leaving as he sang. We were anxious to get to Chicago, so we started driving immediately after the show. Jeff drove the whole way there, 9 hours, without a break [and listening to Magma the whole time! I kept waking up thinking I was being probed by alien life forms]. We arrived at 11:30 AM.

10/13 (Chicago, IL Fireside Bowl)
It was raining heavily when we entered Chicago and would continue to all day. We went to a local coffeehouse for breakfast and then Clayton and I split up to walk around town while Jeff slept in the van. I ate at a place called Flash Taco which gave me a Flash Stomachache. At around 7 PM we headed over to the Fireside Bowl. There was an earlier punk show still going on by the time we got there. 9 Shocks Terror were the last band of the show. They are notorious for destroying equipment. Sure enough, towards the end of their set I hear one of the Fireside employees on the phone complaining that microphones were broken, ceilings damaged, speakers blown, etc. We load in and it's still raining out. I was feeling sort of depressed before the show, thinking no one was gonna show up tonight. We went second. By that time the room had filled out a little more and we played a good set. Unfortunately, we were cut short because of time, which was a drag. It felt like we were just getting warmed up. It was nice to get such positive feedback from people afterwards. Two guys had driven all the way down from Wisconsin, based on word of mouth alone, to see us. Our friends from the Richmond show, Milkbaby, where there too. During the next band I went to the bar. It was one of the rare occasions where I got a little drunk during the tour. While sitting at the bar I thought I spotted record produced/musician Steve Albini from across the room. I asked Clayton and a few other people if they thought it was him and they all said yes. I debated in my head whether I should go give him our cd and talk to him or not. Finally, I approach him. "Steve" I say. The man looks at me and goes "Huh?" I say "you're Steve Albini right?" He says "Uh...no..." I say "you look just like him." [still not convinced] He says "yeah, I get that a lot, but that guy has about 10-15 years on me." I still thought it was him and that he just didn't want some dumb kid in some dumb band bugging him. So I left him alone. At the end of the show I spotted him talking to a member of the last band. When he walked away I went over to the man he was speaking to and asked him "Was that Steve Albini?" [by this point I didn't really care, I just wanted to confirm my suspicion.] He laughed at my question and said "No, that's Joe! Doesn't he look like him though?" Barry from Milkbaby offered us his place to crash. He cooked us up some curry and we got to meet his incredible 22 pound cat Woody.

10/14 (Dayton, OH Knights of Columbus Hall)
This was probably the most anticipated show of the tour for us, as our last time playing Dayton was so memorable with a very enthusiastic and supportive crowd. The ride to Dayton was filled with strange weather: lightning storms, sun showers, rainbows. Within 5 minutes of arriving at the venue, people were already telling us how excited they were we were playing tonight. For a Sunday it was a really good turnout. We played an energetic set and the kids stood up and close, just the way I like it. This show helped us recover financially from the slump we suffered going up through the mid-west. We decided to drive tonight inside of trying to find a place to stay. The Overlords were watching porn in their van, like true rockers. We stopped for dinner at a restaurant that took literally 30 minutes to find the entrance to.

10/15 (Athens, OH The Union)
Athens was another last minute addition to the tour set up by an old friend of the Overlords, Jimmy. We arrived at Jimmy's house around 4 PM and met up with the Overlords. They had obviously already gotten a few drinks in them. One of those obnoxious Girls Gone Wild videos was playing on the TV, which sent Clayton out of the room. Jimmy made an excellent vegan pasta dinner for all nine of us. Jimmy had also actually done some promoting for our show [unlike some other so called "promoters"] and said he was expecting a good turnout. I was a little doubtful only because it was a Monday and it was just our two bands, no local drawing band. After arriving at The Union I hung outside of the club with Ian who was passing out flyers for our show to disinterested college girls. The Overlords played first. It had been a blast hearing them play every night. By this point in the tour I knew their songs inside and out. They were a little wasted and sloppy but a lot of fun. We set up really fast and played a tight set. The Overlords were being so loud during our show that I couldn't tell if anyone else in the crowd was cheering or not! Jimmy was right. The turnout was much better than I had envisioned it would be. At the end of the evening we all stood outside of the club trading merchandise and saying our good byes. Ian and I talked about how we didn't want to go home. Meisha was in rare form tonight, puking in the street, then jumping into a pile of trash bags and running head-first repeatedly into the back of their U Haul van. Then there was the knife fight... One of the Overlords had shouted a comment to a particular young lady leaving the club who had been drinking a bit herself. She got angry and turned around and wanted to know who made the comment. They all pointed to me! I didn't even bother to defend myself. They encouraged her to hit me but she said she wouldn't cause I was wearing a PJ Harvey shirt. Then Meisha pulled out his knife, joking around. Then she pulled out a knife! Two drunks with knives. Meisha pushed her away and she fell to the ground. She got angry and slashed Meisha on the back of his neck. Jimmy quickly broke it up and they both shook hands and went separate ways. And with that we said good night and headed home to Philly.