DYSRHYTHMIA WINTER TOUR 2002: Feb
14 - March 11
[unfortunately, pictures didn't come out very
well for certain towns]
by Kevin Hufnagel
WEEK 1
2/14 (Richmond, VA Hole
in the Wall)
We rolled into Richmond just in time to get
a free dinner at the club. Hole in the Wall treats their bands well. Suzuki
ton played first and kicked ass. Groovy, heavy instrumental jams. Someone
in the crowd kept yelling "can I get your autograph!?" after every song.
It was only funny the first time. During the second band I headed to the
van to warm up. Old friends and fans who had seen us here before were
present tonight, which made me feel really good. Richmond is always a
guaranteed great show and the response we get here amazes me every time.
Jeff was having his usual problems with his drum kit and cymbal-stands
moving further and further away from him in all directions as he played.
By now this has just become part of your typical DYSRHYTHYMIA show. Tonight
it was really starting to get in my way, on such a small stage as this
one. We finished our last song and people were still cheering for more.
We played another. They wanted more. We played another. Our friend Nick
said it was the first time he'd ever seen a band at Hole in the Wall be
asked for a double encore, and they still wanted more...shouting threats
of psychical violence if we didn't keep playing. It was all in good fun
though. After the show I went to the bar and was picked up off the ground
and swung around by some large, strange man shouting "I love your band!".
After saying goodnight to everyone, we headed for our friend Amanda's
house, where she said we could spend the night. She promised the front
door would be open and we would be able to just walk in. Well, the door
was locked. We knocked, loudly. Clayton tried breaking into the kitchen
window. I contemplated throwing my cheese bagel at her bedroom window
to wake her and began singing the Boston song "Amanda" to no success.
Finally, Clayton decided to climb the house to her window. She woke up
and let us in, saying one of her roommates must've locked the door after
fighting with his girlfriend. There wasn't enough space in Amanda's room
for all three of us, so I spent the night on her roommate's floor, since
he wasn't there. At one point in the early morning I heard him come into
the room and just stop and stand there, probably wondering what this fuckin'
stranger was doing in his room. I just kept my eyes shut. We stopped into
Amanda's coffee shop before skipping town. I ate a meal of chocolate covered
cherries, chocolate covered espresso beans, chips, and hot chocolate for
lunch.
(Richmond crowd)
2/15 (Spartanburg, SC Club
221)
When we pulled into Club 221 we knew by the
looks of things that we would be in for an interesting night. The venue
itself was extremely long and narrow and run by a group [family?] of Latinos
with thick, heavy southern accents, which was slightly surreal. I noticed
on all other nights, besides Fridays, Club 221 is Club Latina. We met
Mike who booked us the show. He told us there was plenty of free hamburgers,
hot dogs and beer for us in the back. That sounded great to me and Jeff,
but Clayton, being the lone straightedge vegan was forced to think of
an alternate plan. One of the fellas who worked there gave him $7 to go
to the Subway across the street, before asking me and Jeff if we
ate "regular food". There were way too many bands on the bill tonight
but thankfully two of them never showed up. We played last. There weren't
many people there the whole night. Maybe 20-30 in a place that could easily
hold 1000+. The show was OK though. The stage was nice and big. Clayton
welcomed the few people remaining up to the front after the first song
and I felt as if we won them over tonight. We got called for an encore
again. I met a girl who came to see us due to good word from our friend
Forbes, so that was cool. We decided to drive after the show and got a
2 hour start before stopping at a truck stop for the night. We all felt
pretty exhausted but that didn't stop us from joking around and making
fun of each other for a good 45 minutes in the van. Mike had told us earlier
in the evening that we were "the future" so I began a parody of Whitney
Houston's "Greatest Love of All" ("I believe Dysrhythmia's the future.
Teach them well and let them play away. Show them all the jazz-rock they
possess insiiiiiiiiddddddeeeee....") This was really funny at the time.
The worst part is that I had that song stuck in my head all night. It
was still running through my head the next morning.
(entrance
to Club 221)
2/16 (Simpson, NC Big
Al's Tavern)
The day was sunny and warm. Clayton bought
himself a pair of cheap shades that made him look way more "bad-ass".
We got into Simpson early so we went to find the club first. Big Al's
was some redneck bar out in the sticks down some dirt road. I heard if
you make a wrong turn in this area you'll get a shotgun pulled on you.
We were hungry so we headed to Greenville for dinner and to wander around.
We ate at Flying Salsa and then hung out in a large coffee shop that was
as quiet as a graveyard. No music, no talking, absolute silence. I took
a nap in the corner. When I woke up I went to CD Alley to consign some
stuff. On the way back to Big Al's we listened to bad contemporary country-pop
radio. There was this one song in particular called "I Don't Have To Be
Me Until Monday" that had us all bustin' our guts with it's tale of ditching
work and driving around in your favorite pickup truck all weekend. When
I entered the club I was pleasantly surprised to see an old childhood
friend of mine, Josh, had made it out tonight from Raleigh to see us.
The turnout wasn't huge but we had an enthusiastic bunch up front cheering
[and heckling] us on. I spent most of the night talking with Josh and
catching up on things. He played me a demo of his new band Widow. Total
old-school metal with lots of guitar solos! The show ended at around 3
am. Our van wouldn't start in the parking lot. We tried six times. The
"check engine" warning was flashing. We were hoping it wasn't anything
too serious. After the sixth attempt the engine started. We got a 2 hour
start to Johnson City, TN before crashing at a Holiday Inn parking lot.
Clayton set his alarm to wake us up at 10 am but Jeff had gotten up earlier
to snag some of the hotel's free continental breakfast.
(Josh and Kevin)
2/17 (Johnson City, TN Safety
Sheep)
On our way to Johnson City we passed briefly
through Virginia where it was snowing. We stopped at a rest area where
a man told his son to "look out for the lady" as I was walking into the
MENS room! Guess my long, messy hair still fools people sometimes. As
usual we got into town with time to kill. The guys were amused by my constant
singing of that Ludacris song "Rollout" where he goes "stay the fuck out
of my business, my bizzzzzzzzznnaaaaaassssss", with that funny slang.
As embarrassing as it is, I must admit that some of us in DYSRHYTHMIA
love bad commercial rap music. It must be a reaction to the more "progressive"
and "busy" music we play nightly. Clayton and Jeff got their caffeine
fix at Cow & Coffee and went to Olive Garden for lunch. Those two
have a tendency to disagree about the silliest things at times. As we
were entering the restaurant there was a picture of a man and woman at
a table. The couple doesn't look particularly happy or at ease, so Jeff
says "What's up with that guy? He looks angry." Clayton yells "No he doesn't!"
I can't help but laugh uncontrollably at them. We arrived at Safety Sheep
and made ourselves at home, since it is a house. The first band was a
Christian pop-punk band. Apparently this kind of music is big here. I
heard some girl ask Jeff if _we_ were a Christian band before the show.
Last time we were here the turnout was small but I think we made an impression,
as there were a bit more people here this time for us. We played a great
set tonight. One guy up front was sweating more from "rockin' out" than
we were. Seeing things like that can really push the energy level of your
show to the next step. We spent the rest of the evening hanging out with
the kids at the house. A few of them wanted us to sign their CDs and stuff.
I couldn't find a marker so I took the dry erase marker off the refrigerator
to sign stuff with. Clayton saw this and flipped. "What are you doing!?"
True, I wasn't thinking. There was some post-show entertainment tonight
in the form of a boxing match between two large and bulky kids. I felt
like I was in that scene from Gummo where the two brothers beat each other
up in the kitchen. We all got a chance to shower, check email and sleep
late, except for Clayton who woke early to take the van into the shop.
Thankfully, the mechanic said the problem did not require immediate attention
and that we should be all right for the rest of the trip. I spent most
of the day watching the Shining, and playing with their adorable, rowdy
puppy Lebowski.
(Johnson
City crew)
(boxing)
(no
comment)
(l-r Kevin, Clayton,
Eric and Travis from Safety Sheep) (little Lebowski)
2/18 (Knoxville, TN Pilot Light)
First thing we did upon arriving in Knoxville
was get dinner at Sunspot, which is a fine place to eat. We were taken
there our first time in Knoxville, Oct 2000, by the friends we were staying
with. We hit a record shop nearby where Clayton showed me a copy of that
Whitney Houston record on vinyl with the song on it I kept parodying everywhere
we went. While loading in at Pilot Light we were surprised to see our
merch table, that we had forgotten there last time, was still right where
we left it. Pilot Light shows start fairly late so I went to a coffee
shop up the street where a jazz trio was playing. Later, I was waiting
outside the club and a homeless man, missing nearly all his teeth and
wearing layers upon layers of suit jackets, was begging the doorman for
a cigarette and a beer. When he wasn't talking he would make this strange
face where he would open and shut his mouth and look like a blowfish.
I gave him some change. He told me it was his birthday, he was 55, and
that he went to school for jazz guitar [great!] and then went on ranting
about the Mickey Mouse Club or something. During the first band the three
of us did jumping jacks in the back to warm up. Jeff ended up elbowing
me in the face. Our performance tonight was descent but not as energetic
as the previous night. In the last 15 seconds of the last song, Clayton's
amp died. At first he thought he blew a fuse, which could be replaced,
but upon further investigation we realized it was gone for good. Some
guy was talking our ears off about how we should be on Shrapnel Records
[!?] and how he was the best guitarist in town and his band could "audition"
to open for us next time. We were staying at Cain's house again, who we
stayed with last tour. We waited for him to close up the bar and headed
back to his home. The next morning we woke up and went to Guitar Center
so Clayton could get a new amp and Jeff could buy a new cymbal. On the
way out, Jeff mistakenly shut the front door behind him and locked us
out before I could get all my belongings. We knocked for 5-10 minutes
before Cain could wake up and let us back in.
2/19 (Montgomery, AL 1048
Bar)
The first thing we noticed was there was no
mention of our show tonight in the window of the club and they didn't
hang up any of the posters we sent them. The only flyers displayed were
for upcoming bluegrass events. We went inside. It was mostly older biker-types.
One guy introduced us to his dog [and "girlfriend"] Gracie. The lady at
the bar asked us if we were a "loud" band. That wasn't a good sign. We
looked for somewhere to eat and ended up settling on this restaurant that
seemed really upscale by the look of the place and the way the customers
were dressed, yet the waiters and waitresses all wore jeans and T-shirts.
The food was completely mediocre and overpriced. While Clayton was changing
his bass strings on the street, a man walked by and said "you're a long
way from home..." and introduced himself as "the Hat Man" due to his large
cowboy hat. A few minutes later I watched a redneck couple fight in the
street and listened to a group of men talk about the previous night's
knife fight. We crammed all our gear onto the ridiculously small stage.
By the time they told us to begin there was no audience, no soundman,
and no doorman. The guy who booked the show was telling us we were too
loud and that there was no doorman cause he "really wasn't expecting anyone
to show up". Nice! We played a far too restrained set, although our song
"Let You Fall" sounded really good tonight. Of special note, this was
also our 100th show. There was only one kid in the audience who enjoyed
our set and he was in the next band, who were a top 40 cover band [!].
We thought it was pretty unfair how we were treated tonight, as the cover
band played even louder than us and the bar filled up with people. When
trying to find our way to Atlanta, Clayton pulled into a gas station to
ask for directions. They were closed, but these two shady looking characters
approached our van. Clayton asked them for directions. They started begging
for change. One was on Clayton's side as the other one came over to my
side. We gave one of them some change and then they started fighting over
it. I told Clayton to just step on the gas. Just then I saw another man
come out from behind the gas station shouting at us as we peeled out of
the lot. Most of the time in the van was spent discussing how much tonight
sucked and how frustrating it is dealing with so-called "promoters" who
don't give a shit about "promoting". We ended up stopping at a Denny's.
I read a newspaper article about a man digging himself out of his own
grave. Our waitress seemed comatose and talked like a frog. We stayed
a Comfort Inn parking lot. Clayton insisted Jeff wake him in the morning
for the free breakfast but neither Clayton nor myself could drag ourselves
out in time.
(Clayton
on the streets of Montgomery)
2/20 (Atlanta, GA The Eyedrum)
It didn't take long to get to Atlanta but
finding the "fun parts of town" did. A local told us where some good record
shops were and places to eat. We all split up for a few hours and wandered
around. While in one store, a man who was at our Richmond show recognized
me. A little later I saw two kids get arrested. When we walked into the
Eyedrum we noticed vast improvements had been made to the space, in terms
of acoustics. The was a really awesome instillation in the back that kept
me hypnotized for a good while. Elsewhere in the space hung lots of avant-garde
art. I met a member of one of the other bands playing this evening called
Ladies Night, who asked me if I was keeping a tour diary again. Guess
people actually read that damn thing last time...We were playing third.
The first two bands were instrumental and really good, especially Ladies
Night. The turnout wasn't huge but the people there seemed very psyched
to see us and we were pumped to play. It went much better than our last
show here, so I was satisfied. Someone told me there would've been a bunch
more kids here tonight that wanted to see us, but they all went to the
Dimmu Borgir/Cryptopsy show instead. Freakin' metalheads...When loading
out we noticed the back door of the van wouldn't shut all the way. We
tried for 15 minutes to fix it. Visions of all our gear falling out onto
the highway filled my mind. Finally, we decided to try and find a 24 hour
locksmith. No luck. We pulled over and Jeff took a shoelace, that he found
in Montgomery and had been using as a belt, and tried to secure the door
shut. We got it all tied up and I slammed the door when magically it locked
correctly. So here we had another problem and another expense that had
to be dealt with. We stopped at a Denny's again. There was only one waitress
working the entire place. We were there for over 2 hours and we never
even got our waters! They had a carpet cleaning crew and pest control
inside doing their thing the whole time too. It was terrible. Clayton
drove for a bit, blasting Black Flag, Sleater-Kinney and other stuff that
kept me awake. We stopped to rest for 2 hours then Jeff took over. Jeff
drives in silence, which is good cause I can rest easier. When I next
awoke, we were in Orlando at some tourist center and the van felt like
a sauna. I was wishing I had brought a pair of shorts. The weather had
Jeff positively giddy.
(Eyedrum
instillation)
2/21 (Orlando, FL Stone Soup
Collective)
First on our list of priorities was to take
the van in for an oil change. Of course they noticed a few extra problems
that needed to be fixed too. The mechanics at the garage were asking me
about our band and saying such typically "dumb male" things as "Y'all
should play on the boardwalk during spring break! Y'all get laid more!"
Tonight was supposed to be an early show and they told us to be there
at 6 pm. The first band, a local band, didn't even arrive until 6:30.
The venue tonight was an anarchist bookstore. I spent time walking in
a big circle around this large septic swamp. It was great to see our good
friends and tourmates from last time, the Overlords of the Underworld,
pull into the parking lot and welcome us. Sadly, DJ Meisha couldn't join
them tonight as he was in the process of being evicted from his apartment.
There was also one other band of a bunch of unwashed, barefoot, friendly
folks from Richmond, VA playing tonight. The local band played Sublime
covers and "hippy folk" while the employees of Stone Soup danced around
like goofballs. During the evening I noticed this woman talking Jeff's
ears off. I was wondering what she was up to. Later he told me she was
just bragging about her "avant-garde acid jazz" songs and working with
George Clinton. Just as we were about to start our set the promoter lays
this on us: We only have 20 minutes, the Overlords can't play, we're not
getting paid anything 'cause not a SINGLE person came to the show tonight,
and that the show has to end 'cause he has to get up early! [it wasn't
even 9:30 pm yet] Clayton stood there speechless, as did the rest of us.
This especially didn't make any sense since he kept telling us throughout
the night that we could wait until people showed up before starting. We
performed an angry and sloppy 3 song set. During the last song a cop came
and told us it was too loud. Thankfully the Overlords did get a chance
to play a few tunes. We all stood around in the parking lot for awhile.
A friend of the Overlords invited all three out of town bands back to
his house to eat and hang out. They made vegan sloppy joes and ordered
pizza. The Overlords were being their usual sleazy, obnoxious, lovable
selves. Mike, the trombonist, was telling me that tomorrow there would
be girls at their house that were "into rockers" and "legal, at least
17". Clayton eventually went off to sleep in the van. Will from Overlords
said Clayton [or "Clay-von"as they call him] was "sensitive" 'cause he
"writes poetry at night". I eventually got sleepy and went to the van
as well. Jeff stayed in the house. It rained heavily all night and into
the morning. Rain crashed down on the van like a waterfall. I felt trapped
inside and waited at least an hour for it to die down, but it wouldn't.
I ran into the house to see who was up. The Overlords had already left,
and we were supposed to met them tonight at Ian's [Overlords bassist]
for dinner.
(Clayton
and Jeff) 
(Kevin
and Clayton)
(Will-Overlords
and Clayton)
(l-r
Will, Mike, Jason-Overlords)
(l-r
Ian, Clayton, some dude, Kevin)